Where I come from, mission is not a word that you would hear about very often.  I, would often link that word with others.  I saw it as an event that took place in the lives of others and never felt that it was possible for me to do missionary work.  This narrow minded view all changed as I was called to join a mission’s trip by the Youth With A Mission (YWAM) lead by Mr. Jason Andrews and his wife Mrs. Sara Andrews.  That was a shock to me and I felt that it would never come to pass.   I was excited but also very fearful.  My fear was in where I would get the money, and how the team and I would be a blessing to the others there in Jamaica never paying attention to what I would receive and learn from the trip.  It was all new to me and I felt unworthy of attending this “Great” call of the Lord.  I felt that I was not deserving of this.  The fear kept a hold of me even while in Jamaica. However, with the continuous encouragement I received from the church members (Pentecostal Church) and the team, I was able to be assured that this was the calling of the Lord.

Before the outreach- I spent the year preparing for this mission and focused on the Lord’s plan, realizing that this was His will for my life and not something of my own.  With the support of my family my confidence was built up but mostly with the great support of the church members and how they took it upon themselves to provide all the finances that I needed for the trip and all the sacrifices they made for me to go on the trip, I was even more persuaded that yes, this was the will of the Lord and I will do my best to walk where He leads me mostly to prepare/surrender fully to the Lord so as to know that the money and all the selfless sacrifices of everyone who contributed to me going on the trip would not come to naught.  

Honestly, I felt that this was a miracle and I was filled with thankfulness and spent days and nights just crying out to God, being humble before Him and renewing myself daily before Him. As the trip came closer, I became more nervous and anxious.  I felt timid and did not know what to expect.  However, the members of the team were just so encouraging and filled with love that it made me feel and experience that comfort just being with them.   Right before we went on the trip, there was a night of intercession and worship where I was crying out to the Lord, laying down everything at His feet acknowledging that this was His will and purpose for my life.  I was battling with the thought that I was not good enough to go on the trip and then I felt the Holy Spirit reaffirming me that this was the call of the Lord and that night I found victory by the prophecies laid forth and just His wonderful presence that worked wonders in my heart. 

As we came to Jamaica our plans changed.  We felt that our calling was not in the area of children Bible School but more on praying and intercession. It was a call to prophetic evangelism as the theme was centered on having a heart knowledge of the Lord and not simply a head knowledge.  It was something different but proved very significant even in my personal life.  There, I was challenged with relying totally on the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to speak to me and through me.   I felt that I was capable of doing just that but as I read a book filled with all personal truths and revelations leant to me by Mrs. Sara Andrews a very wise, discerning woman of the Lord. The night before we journeyed to Cancun Mexico, I realized that my life, like Mr. Rees Howells was lacking on belief and self reliance on the Holy Spirit.  I use to set up standards and act upon those standards.  I knew the Holy Spirit in theory but I never seemed to exercise my faith in Him.  I never really acknowledge that He was living inside of me.  That was when I repented before the Lord and during our night of worship and intercession about the second night in Jamaica, I accepted the Holy Spirit in my life and allowed Him to search me of any areas that needed purification.    The book is entitled: “Intercessor” a biography of Rees Howells. 

That was one of the major transformations that took place in my life, allowing the Holy Spirit to work in me and later through me.  The Holy Spirit does search the secret, hidden things and reveals them to us.  This I found because the Holy Spirit revealed to me many other areas in my life that I needed to repent of and claim victory over.  Some of these were fear (timidity), doubt, anxiety and being fully dependent upon the Lord in everything.  It was a test of faith.  I was encouraged to speak out in meetings where I gradually let go of that fear and covered myself with courage.  I found that I stepped out in faith in prayers and believing and even in speaking with others and carrying out normal duties.  One of the hardest areas I had to work on was being fully dependent upon the Holy Spirit.  I would always make my plans and carry them out.  I pray before the Lord, but would still carry them out not really allowing the Lord to speak to me about His opinions and directions for me with my plans. I knew my standards seem right but the Lord wanted me to be fully submissive to Him.  This was the reason for my anxieties.  I worry over whether or not my plans would come to fulfillment and become weary.  With these in my heart, I knelt down and fully surrendered everything to Him.  I was assured that no matter what, my plans are safe in the Lord and it is He who directs my paths.  These were the major personal transformation that took place in my life and I was healed by it.  It’s amazing how a new environment can make very clear the areas in your life that needs change that does not normally seem visible when faced in one familiar environment.  My being was blessed as I sang with cheer and boldness the song, I’m not my own, I belong to Jesus.
I needed proof of it though.  I needed assurance that the Holy Spirit was working through me and that was shown clearly to me during evangelism.  The team members paired in small groups and I joined with Mr. Jason.  We went to a home where one young lady lived.  She had a Christian song playing and was preparing something in the kitchen.  As we came to the door she so kindly spoke to us and as Mr. Jason introduced him and me and asked if we could pray with her, she invited us in and poured her heart out to us.  She mentioned many things she needed prayer for and we began leaning on the Holy Spirit for her.  Mr. Jason prayed first and I knew that the Holy Spirit was speaking through Him.  I was silently praying and after Mr. Jason paused, I openly prayed.  I did not plan the words to pray this time, I did not went ahead and think about what to say, but I totally surrendered to the Lord and I knew that like Mr. Jason, the Holy Spirit was speaking these words through me.  The lady cried out to the Lord and I knew that this was all prepared by the Lord.  I felt deliverance in that place.  It was a blessing to me.  I truly realized that the true essence of prayer is an answer (spoke about in the Intercessor book).  It is an answer by the Holy Spirit and when we wait upon the Holy Spirit, only then the prayer will fulfill its purpose.  I could see then and there, that more than anything else, I wanted to be an intercessor for the Lord and it was a choice I made that very moment.  I chose to pray for only that which the Holy Spirit has revealed to me and no longer will I go ahead but wait upon the Spirit and placing myself even if it means my life, making sacrifices until the plan of the Holy Spirit is fulfilled through it. 

During the rest of my stay there, I kept practicing waiting upon the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to direct my words and actions and moved only when I knew it was His calling.  That molded me and transformed me entirely and I could see that the surroundings and the other team members were also transformed for the light shown in that place wherever we went for the presence of the Lord was with us.

Many other transformations came through the team members.  There were 16 members, Ms. Pauline who inspired me with her love and good model like qualities, Ms. Shelly, who with her gentle, calm and understanding character showed me how to be a better listener and being open to others.  Mr. Kerm, with his prophetic tongues and his concern for the youths gave me self confidence and encouraged my heart that we are never too “small” to serve.  Amazing baby Bethany, with her innocence and sweet Spirit allows me see myself as a beauty in the Lord and like a babe, rely fully on Him. Mr. Jason with his persevering character and his belief in the team strengthened me and made me step out in boldness for the Lord.   Mr. Davis with his stillness and listening character yet boldness when lead by the Spirit showed me how to wait upon the Lord and speak forth what the Holy Spirit has laid upon my heart.  Mervin, with his open Spirit and seeking heart inspired me to allow the Holy Spirit to search me to show me areas that I can be strengthened and be used.  Andy, with his selfless, caring working heart, shows me how to exercise empathy toward others and placing others before myself.  Randolph with his still, quiet Spirit teaches me how to listen keenly to the Lord and always be in obedience to Him. Freda, with her conscious spirit and alertness and quickness in grasping the word of God teaches me to be aware of the words spoken to me and to be conscious of my actions especially towards others. Tanisha taught me how to use my environment effectively to produce a desired result.  She also showed me with her creativeness, how to be creative for the Lord that in any situation through creativeness we can beat the spirit of defeat.  Philip with his friendly, outgoing attitude showed me how to open up more to people and trust them while also offering that same trust to others.  Finally, Nathan, with his thirst for knowledge and wisdom in speech teaches me how to thirst for righteousness and seek the Lord whole heartedly.  Everyone contributed significantly in molding me into becoming a better person and encouraged me with their lifestyle to seek after the things of the Lord with diligence. 

I am truly blessed by this trip and I know that others were blessed through us.  My heart was opened to the Lord and I see how He used me and the other team members in prophesying over others and being blessed as well.  My life has changed for the best and with all courage I say that I will continue that which the Lord has placed in my heart to do by dying daily and being renewed and with all diligence letting nothing hinder me but “looking ahead and not behind.”  

Central Verse- “For God has not given to us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind.”

Word of Encouragement-
Step out in faith.  No matter what your past may look like, no matter what your surroundings are like, come to the throne of the Lord, His tender mercies will cleanse you of all your infirmities once you repent to Him with a sincere heart.  You are never too sinful to serve and be used by the Lord.  The Lord wants to use the “small to make known His wonders to those in high places.”   “He wants to use the foolish to shame the wise.”  Dream big, for the “Earth is the Lord’s and all its fullness thereof.”  The Lord holds everything in His hands and no matter what the situation may look like, “all things are possible with God.”  He is just waiting for you to call on Him.  Step out in boldness and “take that which is rightfully yours.”  Don’t let the enemy steal your joy and all the promises that the Lord has in store for you.  “For the Lord has good things for you, a path that will lead to prosperity….”  So take authority and claim it in the name of Jesus for you were “chosen by the Lord even before you were born, handpicked with a purpose.”